10 Funniest Craigslist Trade Proposals
Craigslist is one of the original places online where people sell stuff, find the odd item at a discount, get free furniture, and best of all, trade. The bartering sections of Craigslist are chock-full of people hoping to swap their stuff with other like-minded people, and like every other part of the notorious site, hilarity often ensues. These are the 10 funniest Craigslist trade proposals; while some are obviously meant to get laughs, there’s no doubt that their posters were at least half serious about their offers (and that’s what makes it so great).
1. Nude “Economic Consulting”
People offering to do things naked is not rare on Craigslist, but people offering to give economic advice naked in return for some sort of tradable item — well thats downright funny. The best part about the poster’s trade stipulations has to be point #3: “Remove all tropical fruits from my sight, especially pineapples.” It’s also great to note that, while the post is obviously not an offer for any sort of sexual encounter, that it’s also not to be considered “certified financial planning.” (Link)
2. Litter-box Cleaning for Pancakes
Compensation in the form of delicious pancakes is likely enough to get just about anybody to clean a smelly litter-box, and this girl knows it. For such a short post, it’s got to be one of the most tempting, oddly hilarious, trade-service offers to show up on Craigslist over the years. (Link)
3. Laptop for a Date (or Two)
At first glance this could look almost sad, but before you start to feel sorry for the poor geeky sap who feels the need to proffer expensive equipment to get a date, take note of his wording. He managed to slip in a small disclaimer, almost seamlessly, by adding the words “over time.” So, he’s obviously more devious than he lets on… (Link)
4. Testicle for Tickets
Super Bowl tickets are pretty hard to come by, and people will go to extraordinary lengths to get ahold of them — but this guy has taken it above and beyond! The best part has to be, aside from his assertion that the testicle is “larger than average” is that it’s also “high capacity” and “well traveled.” (Link)
5. Human Soul (Black Friday Deal)
Black Friday has taken on a life of its own over the course of the last decade or so, and the “black” portion of it has understandably morphed from a financial slang to be much more sinister in its tone. This guy had the right idea when he decided to have some fun with the Craigslist community in Orlando, by posting his soul in trade for whatever turned out to be the best offer. (Link)
6. 1958 VW Beetle
A 1958 Volkswagen Beetle, in good condition, is a beautiful thing — and it’s not an easy thing to come by these days. That’s why it was no surprise that this poor guy got the ridiculous barrage of responses when he posted his little VW on Craigslist last year, in an attempt to barter for a good commuter car. It was all ready to shape up just as any other barter post would, except the questions he was getting from people were so grating to his exacting nature that he couldn’t take it anymore, and began to post public responses to the dumbest inquiries. The best one has to be #14: “No I wont trade it for you 73 Impala, even if it does have 22′s and four tv screens.” (Link)
7. (Gay) Porn for Bookshelf Assembly
The visuals that this post creates are too funny to ignore, and opening the whole thing with a flamboyant “Hi Handymen!” is just too much for most folks to keep from laughing. You have to wonder, though, if anybody took him up on his offer. (Link)
8. In Need of a Macbook
You’ve got to love this girl for her total honesty. It’s obvious that she’s actually serious, while being completely hilarious at the same time. Despite the somewhat pathetic gathering of dorm-room items (like the corn nuts and the light bulb), the simple fact that she went to the trouble of posting her itemized list says something about her tenacity. And hey, if a guy could get a house after starting out with nothing but a paperclip, who’s to say she couldn’t bargain her way to a Macbook? (Link)
9. Coke for Pot
Wordplay is always fun when it comes to making trade offers, though it usually doesn’t come out so nefarious as this proposed deal did. The most hilarious part about this, even more so than the detail the poster went to about the methods used to cool the beverages, was the specificity of the Calphalon pot he wanted. (Link)
10. Snowed in and Craving Sweets
While not strictly bartering per se, this has to be one of the funniest (and easiest to identify with) proposals ever to be posted on Craigslist. Let’s face it, if you’re snowed in and have a craving for brownies and ice cream, offering a crisp $100 bill to the first person who braves the elements to satisfy your sweet tooth isn’t such a bad idea. (Link)
